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The Trinity of Leadership: The Power of Neutrality

It was a heated moment in the conference room.

My client Sarah, a high-level executive, was faced with a decision that could redefine her company’s future.

The room was divided. On one side, her VP of Ops advocated for an aggressive push into a new market.

On the other, her CFO warned of the financial risks.

Sarah felt the weight of her position and the tension between these opposing perspectives.

But rather than choosing a side, she paused. 

She sought the neutral space between them and facilitated a discussion that aligned both perspectives into a balanced approach.

That moment transformed her team and highlighted a truth about leadership…

…real success doesn’t exist in extremes. It thrives in balance.

This is the essence of the Trinity of Leadership — a framework that recognizes the positive, the negative, and the neutral as essential components of effective leadership. Each element is valuable, but it’s the neutral space, the balancing point, where clarity, innovation, and forward momentum are born.

What is the Trinity of Leadership?

In corporate leadership, much of the focus tends to fall on binary thinking:

success vs. failure

growth vs. risk

innovation vs. tradition.

However, this duality oversimplifies the complexity of decision-making and limits the potential for transformative leadership.

The Trinity of Leadership challenges this paradigm by introducing three interconnected elements:

1. The Positive (Opportunities): These are the strengths, and forward-looking possibilities that inspire progress and ambition.

2. The Negative (Challenges): These represent the obstacles, risks, and potential pitfalls that demand caution and problem-solving.

3. The Neutral (Balance): Neutrality is the middle ground—a space that pauses without judgment, reaction, or immediate response. Instead, it is a place of thoughtful reflection. It is a space where fear disappears and opportunities come clear. 

Just as the triangle’s three sides create a balanced and stable structure, the Trinity of Leadership provides a framework for achieving stability and success in complex situations.

Most leaders are taught to  focus on maximizing strengths or mitigating weaknesses, but few address the value of neutrality.

Neutrality is the place in the middle that pauses, that does not judge, that does not react. 

Rather it is the place that reflects. 

Neutrality doesn’t imply indecision.

It’s an active state of listening, evaluating, and synthesizing information.

Neutral leaders are more likely to integrate diverse perspectives, create cohesive strategies, and inspire out of the box thinking.

Consider Joanne Smith, Delta’s Chief People Officer, who demonstrated the Trinity of Leadership during a period of organizational transformation. Faced with the challenge of aligning Delta’s workforce culture with its operational goals, Smith acknowledged the negative—resistance to change and employee concerns—while championing the positive—opportunities for innovation and improved culture. By maintaining a neutral perspective, she created initiatives that balanced these dynamics, fostering a culture of engagement and adaptability that strengthened Delta’s position as an industry leader.

Here are three ways I help organizations leverage the Trinity of Leadership framework to achieve balance and drive transformative leadership:

  1. Cultivating Awareness Across the Trinity:
    • I guide leaders to recognize and value the interconnected roles of the positive, negative, and neutral elements in decision-making. This includes identifying opportunities for growth (positive), assessing potential risks (negative), and intentionally creating space for reflection and synthesis (neutral).
    • Through workshops and coaching, I help leaders shift away from binary thinking and embrace a more holistic view of challenges and opportunities.
  2. Embedding Neutrality in Leadership Practices:
    • I teach leaders how to harness the power of neutrality as an active state of listening, evaluating, and reflecting. This involves fostering an environment where diverse perspectives are integrated and knee-jerk reactions are replaced with thoughtful responses.
    • By embedding neutrality into organizational processes—such as strategy development, conflict resolution, and innovation planning—leaders are equipped to make balanced, objective decisions that drive sustainable outcomes.
  3. Building Balanced Leadership Teams:
    • I work with organizations to develop leadership teams that embody the Trinity of Leadership by ensuring each member brings strengths in different areas—positive, negative, and neutral. This diversity fosters resilience and enhances team dynamics.
    • Through team coaching and facilitation, I help leaders balance ambition with caution, and reflection with action, creating a culture of equilibrium that drives collective success.

The Trinity of Leadership offers a powerful lens for understanding and navigating the complexities of corporate leadership. By embracing the positive, acknowledging the negative, and cultivating the neutral, you can become a more balanced, effective, and inspiring leader.

So, the next time you face a challenging decision, ask yourself: where is the balance, and how can I lead from that center? How will you bring this trinity into your leadership journey?

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Word of the Day: “Worthful”

This is my 15-year-old son, Keaton.

Today, he taught me something beautiful…
…the word “worthful.”

He was telling me a story he read where one of the characters was considered by many to be “worthful.”

I paused when he said it because my mind persistently and invasively kept replacing “worthful” with “worthless.”

I carefully asked him to repeat the word, and he said, “Worthful, Mom… you know, worthful.”

I had never heard this term in my life.

I’m so thankful he shared it with me because now it’s a permanent part of my vocabulary.

I will use it often because I AM WORTHFUL.

And so are you.

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A Steep Hill to Climb: Adventurer Overcomes Rare Sarcoma Diagnosis

During the height of my entrepreneurial success I was diagnosed with a rare cancer.  

I took a 6 month leave of absence to focus on my health and wellness.

I received treatment from the amazing team at City of Hope in Duarte, California.

That was 10 years ago and I’m now cancer free.

I’d like to take this moment to recognize and thank the great staff at the City of Hope who dedicate their lives treating and curing cancer, including:

♡ @DoryBenford who interviewed me for this beautiful article. Dory perfectly captured my spirit through her creative writing.

♡ Dr. Vijay Trisal, oncologist extraordinaire, who deserves credit for annihilating the Sarcoma growing in my chest.

♡ Dr. Mark Tan, a thoughtfully brilliant plastic surgeon, who meticulously put me back together. I have a beautiful scar on my chest I display proudly because of him.

♡ Every nurse who helped me after surgery.

♡ Lastly, I’d like to thank the harp player in the City of Hope hallway who beckoned me to get out of the hospital bed to start my healing journey. You are indeed a walking angel.

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🤦‍♀️THIS is success? 🤦‍♀️

This is what starting a business looked like for me 14 years ago.

I left my high-paying, comfortable 9-5 for the allure of being an entrepreneur.

My five-year-old daughter on my right side, my newborn son in my arms, and an endless list of prospects to call, projects to deliver, overhead to cover, employees to hire (or fire), emails to return sleepless nights, and very long days.

It was exhilarating and exhausting all at the same time.

It wasn’t until many years later that the hustle and grind caught up to me.

I was burned out despite owning, running, and growing a multi-million dollar business.

Someone commented to me how great it was that I was so “successful.” I stopped in my tracks because I didn’t feel successful.

I thought to myself, “THIS is success?”

The following day I poured a cup of coffee and began the deliberate process of defining what success needed to be for ME:

1. I slow down my mornings, eat breakfast with my children and walk them to school.

2. I work with clients and people I enjoy working with.

3. I stop working by 6:00 pm. I enjoy my evenings with my family.

4. I prioritize my health because my wealth cannot buy good health.

It was so simple and so freeing and has stayed this way since then.

Decide what success is for you and protect it without apology.

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I’m not a Failure

The first time I failed a school assignment was in 1978 as a 1st grader.

Our assignment was to ‘Color and put the four images in the proper order.’

My teacher tried to convince me the proper order ends with the kite stuck in the powerlines and me crying.

I don’t think so.

I have walked through life the exact same way since 1978…every situation has a solution and you will always experience what you believe is true.

I believe it will always work out and I will always be ok. 

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Improve Performance with Meditation

This morning, I rose before the Sun and meditated for 36 minutes, just as I have done for over 5 years.

The benefits of meditation in my life are measurable:

🧘‍♀️ Stress elimination
🧘‍♀️ Depression obliteration
🧘‍♀️ Clarity and confidence booster
🧘‍♀️ Joy infuser

and the list goes on and on…


The benefits of meditation are well-documented and conclusive. Even five minutes of slowing down and calming down do wonders for brain and heart function. 

▶ Want your performance to improve? Try meditation.
▶ Want your relationships to improve? Try meditation.
▶ Want your health to improve? Try meditation.⠀
▶ Want clarity, calm, and confidence in your life? Try meditation. 

Here’s how:

1. Start by finding a private, quiet space in your home where you will not be disturbed.

2. Sit down in a comfortable position with your body relaxed and your head unsupported. Close your eyes. With your eyes closed, look up at the space between your eyebrows and hold your focus there. Do not let your eyes slip below the point between your eyebrows or you will induce sleep. 

3. Concentrate on your breath…listen to it, and feel it rise and fall in your chest. After a few breaths, you will begin to experience an awake calm that invites clarity. This is what you are seeking…clarity and calm and guidance that you will find only within yourself. 

4. Stay for a few minutes or longer if you can. Set your phone alarm to bring you up and out of meditation if you prefer. 

5. After you meditate, write down whatever comes forward for you.

Do this frequently and with consistency and watch your life improve in measurable ways, too. 

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One of my core beliefs is that we are human BEings, not human DOings.

When we are being the most authentic version of ourselves, we can be our best and, therefore, do our best.

I am being my best when I’m adventurous, courageous, and in flight.

Being my best is #wingwalking.

It’s hard to put into words what #wingwalking feels like and hopefully, this video gives you a heart-pounding bird’s eye view.

Unbuckling my seat belt in this 1940s bi-plane, climbing up onto the wing, and securing myself while traveling 70+ miles per hour at 4,000 feet in the clouds is indescribably breathtaking.

My best coaching advice for you is to be your best self, too. And if your best self wants to #wingwalk, message me. 🤟

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Top 3 Techniques for Effective Speaking

Effective verbal communication at work is a critical contributing component to professional success.

Many professionals, in particular females, ask how they can use their voice to sound more authoritative and empowered.

The most important component of training the voice for confidence relates to the breath rather than the voice.

The breath is what breathes life into the voice. The voice is possible because of the breath. Without a calm, smooth, natural rhythmic breath, the voice will be strained and the sound it makes will be strained as well. A strained voice does not promote confidence or authority.

Therefore, training the breath is priority number one. The goal is to have a calm breathing pattern, which allows for calm and confident communication with the voice.

I practice the following breath-calming techniques with all my clients:

Hand Over Heart Technique

Many people experience fear when communicating with others, especially in the workplace. The very first physical reaction of fear starts in your brain and goes straight to your heart. Your heart begins beating very fast. If you can calm the heart immediately, all other physical sensations will decrease and be diminished.

When you calm your heart, you won’t sweat, shake, or lose your focus, or your words. When your breath becomes calm, your words will become calm, too. Those who speak calmly in the workplace, are seen as figures of authority.

You can also use this technique before you have to communicate with someone about any topic, whether it’s a written communication or you want to ask a question in class. Here’s how to accomplish this:

  1. Place your hand over your heart.
  2. Take a deep inhale and hold it, then pat your heart gently with your hand three times.
  3. Exhale and repeat 3 more times…
  4. Take a deep inhale and hold it, then pat your heart gently with your hand three times.
  5. Exhale and repeat 2 more times…
  6. Take a deep inhale and hold it, then pat your heart gently with your hand three times.
  7. Exhale and repeat 1 more time…
  8. You can repeat this as many times as you need to calm your heartbeat. The more and more you use this technique, the quicker it will work for you. Pretty soon you can simply put your hand over your heart and it will immediately calm down.

Visualization Technique

Your brain creates visual images in your mind. It takes the words that you use, even the silent words, and paints an image.

Allow me to demonstrate…I’m going to say a word to you and you are going to try your absolute hardest NOT to picture an image of that word in your mind.

Ready?

Cupcake.

DO NOT imagine a cupcake with white icing and sprinkles on top…don’t do it, think of a rainbow in the sky instead. No, don’t think of a rainbow…

Do you see how it’s nearly impossible not to create images in your mind?

Because you are able to create images, the visual imagery is going to be amazing and positive, and predictable (The brain does not like anything that is unpredictable. With this technique, you are actually going to predict the outcome of your communication).

You can begin TODAY by replacing any unpredictable negative images in your mind with predictable positive images. Here’s how to accomplish that in a few simple steps:

  1. Sit in a quiet space where you will not be disturbed.
  2. Set your phone alarm for 5 minutes.
  3. Close your eyes then take 3 (three) deep breaths inhaling slowly, exhaling slowly.
  4. Bring to your mind the image of a movie theater screen directly in front of you.
  5. Play on that movie screen positive images of you speaking clearly, concisely, and confidently. See those that you are speaking to nodding their heads, they are smiling at you and their eyes are engaged with your eyes. See how thankful they are that you are talking to them, and engaging with them. See any other people around you smiling, too, nodding their heads, and engaged in what you are saying. See that everyone leans forward to hear more of what you are saying because they are so interested.
  6. I suggest practicing this at least once a day – 5 minutes is all you need. You can increase the time to as long as you prefer and you can do this more than once per day.

Mantra Technique

Mantras are easy-to-remember statements of affirmation we make to ourselves. Your mind believes exactly what you tell it, it’s a program remember? With a simple to remember and repeatable mantra, we are re-programming our minds to believe what we tell it.

Here’s how we integrate the Mantra Technique:

  1. Think about your top three fears with communication. Write them down. Replace them with their exact opposite statement. For example, if you fear that if you speak up in class people will laugh at you, your mantra can be, “When I speak, people pay attention to what I have to say.” If your fear is that you will stutter or forget the words when you want or need to speak, your mantra can be, “I am clear and concise every time I speak.” If your fear is that you will sound stupid when you speak, your mantra can be, “When I speak I sound intelligent and people believe I am smart because of what I say.”
  2. Once you find the right mantras or statements for you, write them down in your journal and repeat them every single day, especially when you are doing something that doesn’t require your full and undivided attention such as taking a shower, brushing your teeth, cleaning your room, walking your dog, etc.
  3. Every morning, just after you brush your teeth, look at yourself in the mirror, and repeat your mantra(s) several times while looking yourself in the eye